This is Lindsanity.

Where in the world is Lindsay Lohan? I feel like ever since her breakup with Sam she’s been hiding out in Momma Dina’s panic room with Ali and a closet full of red bull rehearsing for her new movie roll (you know I love her- but this had better be good or she’s going to lose her number one spot)… But seriously, she’s been MIA for the last month only to return with sheer determination to get her DJ lover back.

She spent the end of April in Hawaii (SO jealous) with her sister and friends just before the launch of her self tanner SevinNyne at Sephora in LA followed by a quick trip to Montreal to host a party and then back to LA for a photo shoot for Spanish Vogue. Whew! I would love to travel, but that’s a lot for only a few days.

Once the rumors that she was pregnant started flying around (even though she was spotted numerous times leaving Sam’s house early in the morning, not sure how that works) she was off to Paris for yet another vacation with Ali complete with PETA protesters hanging out in front of her hotel… The R&R didn’t last when she was notified that her security alarm was set off by alleged burglars, although the police were all trying to figure out if the mess was from the break in, or just La Vida Lohan.

Then things got quiet, too quiet… I really hoped she wasn’t going to emerge with a shaved head but with these people, you just never know… And then yesterday- the news finally broke: Lindsay is in London, stalking Sam. The only upside to this sad headline was that her wondrous fire-crotch had also made an appearance while she was out the other night mimicking her Ex’s every step.

To make things even more interesting Lindsay has expressed an interest in spending some private time with some new Lady DJs as she requested the company of Lauren Pope and Kellie Acreman this weekend. Fucking right Lindsay- NOW we’re talking. This might end up being her hottest night in a DJ booth to date.

Meanwhile, she’s not having the best of luck with her Maserati, she’s been ticketed, one of the tires were slashed and it was towed from Sam’s for being parked halfway in the street. Man, I wish I had a $120,000 car to whatever with- she’s been spotted in a Rolls since the car got towed, I’m thinking she’s going to leave it there for the porn producer to retrieve (never mind, it’s already been listed on EBay). That was fast- but not at all surprising.

Dr. Drew thinks she’s going to lose a limb soon, but I think she’s just being Lindsay. Not sure if her efforts to be with Sam will pan out, I’m just happy to see her back in the headlines. I’m feeling a bit stalker-ish myself considering I just spent hours reading up on her whereabouts… And I think I’m in love with Lohan Groupie.

Who still loves Lindsay? I’ll be keeping an eye for pictures of her with the hottie DJ chicks she’s trying to make Sam jealous with.

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